Health

Cool Tricks on How to Deal with Badmouthing People

Cool Tricks on How To Deal With Badmouthing People
Written by Oana Schneider

There have been so many cases of people who gave up life because of badmouthing people that an article like this just had to be written. First of all, if you’re being bullied at school, work in your family or neighborhood, there are a few things you should know about your bullies:

  • They are confused, small, insecure people who can only feel good about themselves by badmouthing others. However, don’t pity them, it’s not one of those cases.
  • Can you imagine how miserable their lives must be if all they talk about is you? There is a saying: intelligent people talk ideas, normal people talk things and stupid people talk people.
  • They are frustrated, insignificant and lousy people who will never achieve anything, leave any kind of legacy or be remembered. In the face of history, they are close to nothing.
  • Even if you move away, they will find a new victim. In a way, this whole thing is not even about you. It’s about a very sad attempt to look cooler than someone else.

1. Ignore everything they say.

Never ask about what other people say, delete all mean comments on social media and try to only rely on people who know and love you when you need feedback. Don’t make a big deal out of someone’s rude comment and try to steer away from fights because, after all, that’s really not who you are. Also, people think that ignoring someone is the same thing with going home and crying under a thick pillow. Well, that’s not it!

Ignoring is turning around and walking away as soon as someone begins a mean sentence. And here’s another tip: you’ve made it so far in life on your own. Did any of your bullies contribute with anything? No. then why stop and listen to them at all? Do they hate you? Great, be happy. Bullying and jealousy go hand in hand these days!

2. Stand up to them and leave them speechless.

As someone who’s had this happened to her before, don’t let people who call you names get away with it. Walked out of a supermarket and someone called you fat/ skinny? Go straight to them and ask what the problem was, if they thought that through before speaking up and things like that. Most people will back down and feel remorse. If you are a tiny girl and don’t have backup, it’s probably a good idea to gust put some headphones on and just walk by casually. After all, most of these individuals you’ll never get to see again in your life, so why bother?

3. Be the bigger guy.

There’s something we need to clarify here. We agree that both and men have a problem with bullies, catcalling can make a woman feel horrible for no reason. And frankly, if you started dressing up frumpier because on your way to work there’s a construction site with rude workers that you are trying to put off, well, there is a problem. Don’t adjust your life based on what other people think of you. Try establishing a meeting point with another co-worker and going to work together every morning, if you don’t feel safe.

Another thing you can do is call their supervisor and explain the situation, along with your very serious intent to take this up to the police. For guys is less often, but the reasons are very hurtful: weight, baldness, an injury, a body abnormality, being too small or too tall and the list goes on. But you know what? Thank goodness we’re not the same! Don’t be bothered by things like that, just remember that you have a good life with people who love you and therefore you don’t need to bully others in order to feel good about yourself. And that’s probably a feeling your bullies will never have the change to experiment.

4. Laugh about it.

People think you’re fat? Well, that’s just more body to love, isn’t it? Seriously now, if you love yourself, who cares what other people think? Yes, you could go on a diet and exercise, but if you’re healthy and don’t really want to become a Victoria’s Secret model, there really is no reason to change anything. Oh and one more thing: people who bully you for not being skinny are probably starving themselves and that causes poor judgement. So look at is if it’s not those people talking, is the lack of fat and protein talking. And those guys can be so mean!

5. Don’t be intimidated.

You know, here’s always someone who’s going to dislike something about you: a friend who wants you to lose weight, a mother who dislikes your hair, a neighbor who’d like to do changes to your house and the list goes on. Don’t just let them talk their talk: stand up for yourself and show them that you are a human being and that words can hurt more than actual pain. Explain to them how you accept everybody and deserve to be treated like you treat others. Don’t bow you head to anybody, you deserve better!

6. Watch out for crazy people.

Unfortunately, you can’t control what other people think or do, which is why you should probably watch your back at all times. If you have a stalker, tell the authorities and don’t let this get out of hand. Even if it’s cyber-bullying, you still need protection. Many teenagers make mistakes and have false friends who expose them or threaten to.

If it’s your case, know that this is illegal and the police will protect you! Talk to your parents, your school counselor, any police patrol and truly any trust worthy person. If you’re all grown up and feel that you’re in jeopardy, take self-defense classes, purchase some pepper spray or a taser and make sure to keep it away from your kids.

7. Never ever befriend stupid people.

This is how everything starts: you choose one or two friends that you don’t really know anything about, confide in them and next thing you know the whole neighborhood is laughing behind your back. Try not to share personal information with other people until they gain your trust. Yes, trust is something you first have to earn.

And it’s expensive, so not everybody gets it! Also, don’t befriend people with addictions, a bad reputation, people who are lousy parents or have a tendency to embellish things. If someone badmouths a person in your presence, they will badmouth you too as soon as you leave the room.

8. Sometimes it’s a good idea to be a bad neighbor.

And by being a bad neighbor we don’t mean turn up the music and be the neighborhood scare. Here’s what we mean: salute and be polite, talk casualties (Great weather, I thought it was going to snow, Did you get your mail this morning?), don’t share family information, troubles, financial problems and things like that. If there’s one thing we can learn from famous TV shows is that no secret is safe once your neighbors get a hold of it. If you don’t want people to gossip about you being broke, sick, cheap etc., try being a more private person.

9. Accept that no friendship is saint.

Yes, sometimes friends betray us and share our secrets with the rest of the world. Was it our fault to confide in them? No. having faith in the human kind is not a bad thing. The outcome is regrettable, but that’s just how people are. Just break this kind of friendships and move on. There’s no way of knowing who will stand by your side until the end of time, but avoiding all people is not a great idea either. All you can do is accept that no friendship is forever and say: It is what it is, it’s all done now. I’ll make new friends, I’ll have great times with them, I’ll be happy. This is just a stepping stone.

Be confident, be brave and try not to let anybody tell you what to do (unless you’re at work and you have to follow instructions, of course). Have a great life, love your family, remember the good times and leave all the badmouthing people behind. Life is so beautiful!

About the author

Oana Schneider

Oana Schneider is a published author located in Chicago, Illinois, who currently works for DontPayFull.com as a communication specialist and blog editor. She writes about lifestyle, family budget, has a degree in Communications and advocates for women’s rights. Her future plans include getting a Labrador and losing a few pounds.

11 Comments

  • That’s true. I also agree with your last point because it just shows that nobody is perfect. I do believe though that if we be kind they would feel bad to badmouth because that’s in our human nature, so after all I would try love them and tell them what they did hurt others or me, or whatever is related to that situation, and do it nicely.

  • I took great pleasure reading those four bullet points at the start of your article. Not only I could identify myself in them, I don’t hesitate advising my children and young friends with those ‘bullets’. An old wisdom of the old sages say, ” When your enemy falls. don’t rejoice, but don’t pick him up either.” There’s that caution, trust and self-defense element there.from #1-9 “Cool Tricks”

    Sometime ago, I told my close friend, “Let them be” about some people giving her a bad time.

  • What an ageless article and how pertinent it is! All points are extremely well crafted and make complete sense. I can fully relate to it as a mature individual and as a male. I gave up on a lucrative assignment just because one of my friends felt way too jealous and tried to sully my image behind me. I was taken aback and could not stand betrayal. Well, there is no place for innocence and I was a victim of my own ineptness. Look in the eye of an idiot and muster enough courage to keep stupids at bay.

  • It’s so true that people who badmouth others in front of you will end up turning around and badmouthing you eventually. I’ve made the mistake of befriending (and even dating!) people like that and it always ended up biting me in the behind, one way or another. I agree with all the points raised in this post, but especially that one.

    • Absolutely and I know many people who have such a badmouth that it causes them a lot of losses in life and I feel really sad for them.

  • This article makes many good points. Overall, what to remember is that when you let another person’s behavior affect you, you are giving him/her power over you and your life. In order to take away their power, and therefore, their ability to hurt you, remove your attention (aka ignore him/her), move along, focus on the positive, and on the people who actually know you and care about you. As Oana stated in the article, if the situation has progressed to abuse or criminal behavior, it’s important to contact the proper authorities, because they are better prepared to manage those circumstances.

  • Well in this jungle that we call life there will always be snakes in the grass. The way you have to see it is that badmouthers are just basically losers with an overinflated ego. The dark side will always lose in the end.

  • This article was written with super effectiveness. It really touch base on the issue of bullying and the effects it has on people and their lives. For a long time, I was paranoid about my height because this guy I knew use to always come up to me and be like “you’re so short” and he’d constantly do it and belittle any confidence that I would have. I also didn’t like people saying “you look so young” because it made me feel so small too. It took my stepfather having several talks with me, telling me to be comfortable with myself and not to give a damn what others think for me to be able to not let it phase me anymore. It’s crazy how words can have drastic effects on us, good or bad.

  • For me, the biggest one is keeping personal information personal. I had a bad situation where a coworker who was nearly my mothers age acted super trustworthy, and in my inexperience, I answered her questions, which got personal after a while. Then she psychoanalized me and started telling me all sorts of terrible things and eventually made a statement that pretty much pulled the rug out from under my very reason to live. I quickly realized she was wrong about me at that point, but a lot of damage was done and 5 years later I still struggle to trust other women.

  • A really necessary post in today’s age. As a mother of 2 daughters, this is very important advice. As I grew up I met with bullies face to face, but now our children and even us sometimes have to face them in the online environment, especially if our employment is in the online environment.

    “Never Befriend Stupid People!” I laughed at this because I have done this. I’ve used a personal story to contrast a lesson to help someone I thought was a friend. I will be sure not to make that mistake again. This was a painful experience and a life lesson. However, I truly feel there are great people in every location, but a person must qualify those they share personal information with.

    TPhoenix: I once read about how powerful words can be and I explained this to my daughter. Speaking bad of others is like hammering a nail in a board. When you pound a nail into a board it makes a hole in the wood. When you pull the nail out the hole still remains. When you speak badly of others you are pounding a nail into a board. Even after you apologize for the things you say and pull the nail out, the hole still remains.

  • One thing that I enjoy more than anything is turning round to somebody who has talked about me behind my back and asking them to repeat what they said to my face. More often than not, they are not able to do this, and this makes them look like a very two-faced person indeed, which I am always pleased about. Plus, it really makes me feel as though I have been able to claim the moral high ground by asking them why they said what they did, and they really begin to understand exactly what it was that they had done wrong.

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

css.php
27 Shares
Share22
Pin5
+1
Tweet

Thank you for share!
We apreciate it!

Connect with us:

Send this to a friend